Changes

Phil has completed three cycles of Melphalan, and his light chain numbers are slowly going down.  Blood will be drawn again in early February, and we hope that downward trend will continue.  Phil is discouraged, and is suffering from increasing side effects, especially from the Dex, which he has been on for 10 months.  We [...]

Emotions

What a roller coaster ride of emtions the past week has been!
Sunday we had a great time of worship in song.  I felt the Lord’s presence as I haven’t in a while.  My heart was touched by a man who gave a testimony of living in fear of his Muslim wife’s leaving him if he [...]

Failed

Phil has failed the Velcade protocol.  Six months, and a strong start, but ultimately, his Lambda light chain count is higher than when he started treatment.  Fortunately, it’s not out of control, but it is steadily going up.  Dr. Smith has ordered a “drug holiday” until at least October 28, as Phil is exhausted and [...]

Pain

Today has been a climactic day.  For he past few days, I’ve been experiencing what for me is a hallmark of my fibromyalgia:  neck pain.  In fact, that’s what first took me to the doctor over 14 years ago.  Today the pain has been nearly unbearable, leaving me feeling nauseous and like I could scream.  [...]

Affirmation

Monday I had my more-or-less annual appointment with my midwife, Joan.  The actual exam took more minutes, but Joan spent a long time just talking to me; she realizes that the events in my life have a profound effect on my physical health.  Of course, she’s right.
More than anything, she affirmed that I am bearing [...]

Brief Panic

I had a horrible moment of panic earlier tonight when I thought about my husband having left this earth for his heavenly home, and my being left alone because my daughters were married and no longer living in the area.  I had to stop myself and remember that I don’t know what the future holds [...]

Long Time No Write

It’s been a long time since I wrote anything here.  Too much has happened, I guess, and I’ve been busier than usual.
Phil’s July labs, or I should say, his Light Chain test results (these measure the progress of his cancer) showed a marked increase in the cancer cells.  We thought it was a fluke, so [...]

Fibro Flare

It would seem I am in a fibro flare, as those of us with fibromyalgia call an extended period of extreme symptom flare up.  I am terribly exhausted, wanting only to sleep, despite sleeping 11 – 13 hours at night.  I am also experiencing tiredness in my muscles from slight exertion.  Trying to put laundry [...]

Chemo & Blood Counts

I keep thinking about how much we want Phil’s July 1 labs to show that his cancer has been beaten back down.  His early June labs showed his Lambda light chains were around 5, so all that we need is for that number to be cut in half.  As I recall, in April, then number [...]

Feeling Better

Has it really been over a month since I last posted?  I guess that’s because I am feeling better!  It took a month, but the antidepressants finally kicked in, and I am noticing a difference.  I’m not obsessing about Phil’s illness and eventual death.  I have actually laughed and felt joy.  I’m actually getting some [...]